Offline

It has been a very frustrating week. On Tuesday evening I lost my internet connection and it took me until mid-morning today to get it working again - and even now it is not back up to full operation as my guests couldn't get access. It is extremely embarrassing to say the least that my guests have to visit the local internet cafe.

In the last two days I have spent a total of three hours on the telephone to France Telecom. Although much much better than it was, my French still let's me down and none more so than when I am on the telephone. Mind you, I wasn't helped by helpline assistants who listen to me asking them to speak slowly and then charge off again at 200mph. Our inability to communicate with each other would have made a fantastic TV sketch - at one point she asked me to unplug the modem and I unplugged the whole telephone system and cut us off - thankfully she realised what a berk I was and called me back. I think we tested each others patience to the limit but I am very grateful that she persevered with me and that eventually I understood what she was telling me do and now I am back online.

The music festival has come to a close for another year. On Monday evening we had a pretty good jazz band, who rushed off stage at the slightest hint of a drop of rain, which was a shame because it didn't actually rain and it broke up the rythym of the concert and pissed off the crowd no end. They were from New York, so were probably concerned about health and safety, but this is France, where gas engineers turn up with a fag on the go!

On Tuesday we had the Belgian equivalent of Robert Plant - I'll leave it at that and let you use your imagination, but suffice to say he had definitely smoked too many Marlboro Reds in his life and those leather trousers were just a tad too tight.

There was a very good dinner with my guests last night, when I was able to forget about my internet problems for a few hours. Sometimes the mix of people around the table just clicks and works very well and last night was one of those. We had a BA pilot and a marketing manager and a town planner and a teacher - and all were very entertaining. It didn't stop me spending all night typing my password into my computer in my fitful sleep in the hope that a magic connection would be made.

It wasn't, but I'm back now